Did Kristi Noem's face fillers infect her brain? An investigation.

There’s a rare, unfortunate medical condition called filler migration. It can occur when you have your face pumped full of so much poison that you, well, look like this, and the dermal fillers detach and float off to another part of your face.

Did DHS Secretary Kristi Noem’s face fillers infect her brain?

Yes yes my glibness is kind of cringeworthy here but I’ve been seriously pondering how any human being can be as stupid and mean as Kristi Noem. What makes a person as stupid and mean as Kristi Noem?

Not only did Noem kill a puppy, she publicly boasted about it to a nation of people who swaddle their dogs in like 5,000 count sheets and coo at them like little babies and mourn their deaths like the loss of a relative. She is so mean and stupid.

Now, Noem is probably rusty on her Hegelian dialectics, so it might explain why she doesn’t realize how inevitable backlash will land this photo in the history books. It will be viewed by future generations like we view pictures of third reich rallies.

MEAN AND STUPID.

She had quite a week! That former cheek filler that migrated must really be pressing into the frontal lobe. Asked at a Senate hearing about the writ of habeas corpus, Noem replied, that the Constitutional right to face charges before a judge is actually, the “constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country," Noem said. Mean and stupid.

She’s done too many mean and stupid things to recount here, but the latest is ordering Harvard to stop accepting foreign students and, I guess, let the existing ones get grabbed by ICE and sent to CECOT? DHS press release:

Today, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem ordered DHS to terminate the Harvard University’s Student and Exchange Visitor Program (SEVP) certification.

This means Harvard can no longer enroll foreign students and existing foreign students must transfer or lose their legal status.

Harvard’s leadership has created an unsafe campus environment by permitting anti-American, pro-terrorist agitators to harass and physically assault individuals, including many Jewish students, and otherwise obstruct its once-venerable learning environment. Many of these agitators are foreign students.

“This administration is holding Harvard accountable for fostering violence, antisemitism, and coordinating with the Chinese Communist Party on its campus,” said Secretary Noem. “It is a privilege, not a right, for universities to enroll foreign students and benefit from their higher tuition payments to help pad their multibillion-dollar endowments. Harvard had plenty of opportunity to do the right thing. It refused. They have lost their Student and Exchange Visitor Program certification as a result of their failure to adhere to the law. Let this serve as a warning to all universities and academic institutions across the country.”

Mean and stupid. Giving thousands of students nervous breakdowns is the mean part. “Everyone’s freaking out,” a student told the New York Times. “No one knows what to do.”

Harvard immediately filed a lawsuit. Brave, blah blah blah, not trying to make that institution into a Freedom Fighter here—they have no choice: one quarter of Harvard students come from abroad and many pay full tuition; Harvard would go broke if Noem’s vision came to fruition.

Whichever judge presides over the lawsuit probably went to Harvard or a Harvard-like entity. So I doubt it’ll go anywhere, though I should stop underestimating how mean and stupid everything is. But even that ludicrous press release will cause immeasurable damage.

Here’s the stupid part: thousands and thousands of exceptional, talented foreign students will forgo applying to Harvard given the risk posed by this idiocy. If you’re smart enough and/or rich and connected enough to get into Harvard, you’re smart enough and/or rich and connected enough to get into Cambridge or any other elite university in the world. With one mean and stupid announcement, Noem just deprived the U.S. of a generation of top talent.