Fuck Western Europe Part 2

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“No. It’s a mess,” my Syrian friend, who lives in Malta, said when I asked him if his family plans to go back. Of course this sentiment is paired with ecstasy, across the board, with no exceptions, from every Syrian I know, over the overthrow of Al-Assad. “I bet that coward will run to Russia,” another friend gleefully and presciently said.

Western European countries instantly sprung into action to start kicking out the refugees. After all, they have to preserve their superior Western culture of declining birthrates, too much alcohol and in several cases terrible food. Britain (bad food), Germany (bad food), Greece, Italy (fine good food) and Sweden (fucking meatballs ew), are temporarily suspending the asylum process for Syrians, the New York Times reports. Austria (I bet bad food) plans to start deportations.

“Many refugees who have found protection in Germany are now finally hopeful of being able to return to their Syrian homeland and rebuild their country,” said Nancy Faeser, the German interior minister, who is responsible for refugees, according to the Times.

Or maybe they’re fucking not!

“It was shocking that on the same day that the Assad regime fell, we immediately heard politicians from Germany and all over Europe, talk about when and how the Syrians should go back,” said Anas Aboura, 38, granted asylum in 2015, told the Times.

Middle East Eye interviewed former Syrian refugee Anas Modamani. He took a viral selfie with Angela Merkel 10 years ago and has no plans to return to Syria. “I’ve become a Berliner now,” says the 27-year-old cameraman.

Refugees stuck in Turkey, which treats them like gutter trash despite generous monetary infusions from the West to keep them contained, may opt to return. But I can’t imagine that very many people who’ve built lives in Europe will be leaving with enthusiasm.

Let’s say you’ve been in Germany since 2015, as Aboura has. Let’s say you have kids who were born in Germany. They are nine. They are in German school.

In Syria, Israel is bombing. Turkey likely expects a “thank you” from HTS in the form of dead Kurds. The guy who headed the rebellion used to be Al Qaeda and no one knows if he’s really changed or if his new moderate image is the world’s most impressive P.R. (I hope, and think, it’s the former). It’s inevitable for there to be infighting between groups. Iran probably won’t be like, “Oh well, you win some you lose some!” And literally no one knows what comes next. “Sure I’ll yank my kids out of German middle school and take them back to Syria to rebuild the country,” you say to yourself.

There’s a narrative in America and in Europe—and it’s well-meaning, it’s meant to conjure sympathy—that refugees only leave because they have to. That if their deadly, unbearable conditions are alleviated, they’d want nothing more than to go back home. I don’t know. I think that’s definitely true of some people. I’ve seen interviews with Venezuelans in New York that say they wouldn’t be there unless they feared for their lives. Although, this might have to do with the fact the city, run by an insane idiot crook right-winger, has made their lives as difficult as possible.

But there are people, especially young people, who want to live in a place that’s not the one in which they were born. Internal migration is allowed and encouraged, why not external? Oh yes, racism.

After the fall of the Soviet Union, many people, including my parents, immigrated to Western Europe and America. Not because they feared for their lives but because they wanted to come to America.

In 1990s Bulgaria there wasn’t risk of violence, unless you were a Mafioso, just lots of corruption and economic pain. Western capitalism gutted the country; not as brutally as in Russia, but they managed to do a pretty good job of making a normal person’s life hell. Thirty years later, Sofia is as nice as any capitol in Europe. 30 years later. How long until Syria becomes a place you want to live in if you live in Berlin?

***

I got hungry writing this post and went to an Egyptian place to get take out. There were like 5 guys working their asses off. One of them had on an “Egypt” t-shirt so I asked him if he was from Egypt. One of my Syrian friends taught to say Salam a’Lekum to Arabs and I delight all the bodega guys in the neighborhood by butchering the greeting with my valley girl accent. They seem seriously touched that some dumbass American girl would know that custom. Anyway, I look forward to it! But the guy in the Egypt shirt was like, “No only the owner is Egyptian and he brings us back presents from Egypt when he goes. I’m from Venezuela. He’s from Mexico,” he says,” pointing to the other guy. “He’s from Puerto Rico.”

“We’re like the United Nations here!” he laughs.

I strongly disagree. Their veggie plate is phenomenal, the United Nations sucks.