'It was nice while it lasted,' homeless people on the return of law and order in San Francisco

The line outside of the SFPD Tenderloin Station snaked around the building on a recent Sunday, as close to a hundred homeless people turned themselves into the authorities.

“Look, it was nice while it lasted. Beating up children to steal their lunch boxes to snort meth off of them …” said Andy Roy Johnson, wistfully, as he waited his turn to be booked into the local jail, followed by state prison. “With Chesa Boudin out, the jig is up. Gotta move on, man. They tried progressive policies for a year and a half and everything got worse! Especially vibes.”

A woman behind him said she hoped the intake officers would strip search her —“Body cavities and everything”—to confiscate any drugs that might ease her withdrawal. “I just think the only thing that’ll help me beat my addiction is writhing in unimaginable pain in a jail cell. My story of finally getting clean with a bit of tough love will be an inspiration!”

“With a little luck and a lotta pluck, I’ll beat my addiction, get a job in tech, and buy a house overlooking the Bay!”

Paul S. Bleeker was a building contractor living in Houston. But when he threw out his back, he got addicted to oxycontin and before long, street fentanyl. Soon he lost everything: his business, his wife and kids, his good standing in the community.

One day, he broke into his old house and stole the family’s beloved pug. A Mexican drug cartel had started trafficking toy dogs. Out of cash, Bleeker gave Biffy to the cartel in exchange for drugs.

“That’s when I knew I’d hit rock bottom,” he told Substance. For the first time, Bleeker thought seriously about going to rehab. He wanted to be the kind of man who could look his son in the eye when the boy asked, “Hey, where’s Biffy?”