At this point, we average an “accidental fentanyl” exposure story once a week. Each is more ridiculous than the last. Soon, whole counties will be overdosing from air-borne fentanyl.
A local media source will credulously report that a police officer overdosed after accidental exposure to fentanyl. They breathlessly describe their symptoms, which are literally breathlessness, dizziness, tingling in the hands. In other words, textbook symptoms of a panic attack, rather than an opioid overdose, which causes people to slowly fade from consciousness: it’s a downer, not an upper!
PORTLAND, Ore. (KOIN) — A “likely fentanyl exposure” at Willamina High School on Tuesday affected multiple students and a law enforcement officer, according to the Yamhill County Sheriff’s Office.
YCSO said that a deputy came to campus to conduct a follow-up investigation of a case, and was asked by a staff member to assist with a bathroom check regarding a suspicious odor — the bathroom was inside a modular classroom and not connected to the main building.
Officials said the deputy requested that staff and students exit the classroom after noticing a strong, acrid smell in the room, adding the deputy began feeling unwell and was exhibiting signs of a possible overdose. Multiple students also reported that they felt unwell. One student was taken to Salem Hospital via ambulance, while two other students were observed by EMS personnel, YCSO said.
This is actually pretty impressive—when I was a kid we ditched class by pretending that we had period cramps, hoping the male teachers were too uncomfortable with menstruation to ask questions.
The deputy was also taken to the hospital and treated in the emergency room, according to authorities. YCSO said the deputy reported having tightness in the chest with a restricted ability to breathe, tingling in the fingers, loss of feeling in the lower extremities and a sensation of floating. The sheriff’s office also stated that the deputy exhibited confusion, the inability to speak coherently and the inability to articulate what had taken place.
These are LITERALLY the symptoms of a panic attack.
Once, in college, some guy gave me like one line of cocaine at a party. When I got home, my little heart was like “PITTAR-PATTER!” and I got dizzy and my fingers started tingling and I decided I was overdosing on cocaine and about to drop dead of a heart attack. Images of my parents mourning at my funeral flashed through my head.
I called 911. “My heart is beating really fast! And I’m lightheaded! I … think I’m having a heart attack?”
“How old are you?”
“19….”
You could hear the dispatcher roll their eyes.
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