Yes, defund the NYPD—Here's what I mean by that.

Keechant Sewell, the first female police commissioner of the NYPD, always struck me as a decent public servant. She has no history of misconduct or abuse during her 22-year-long career. And, from the hostage-look vibe she gives off in press conferences, she likely did intend to bring change to the NYPD, but was thwarted by her boss, Mayor Eric Adams, who definitely never intended to bring accountability to the force or any other reforms. Sewell just abruptly resigned.

The mayor said in a statement on Monday that Ms. Sewell had worked tirelessly and that “New Yorkers owe her a debt of gratitude.” But Ms. Sewell, in an email to the department announcing her resignation, did not mention the mayor at all.

Good. Burn.

Living in New York City is expensive and hard (I write, from a gross motel in Alabama, which I cannot wait to leave to go back to NYC). On top of $7 coffees and $13 beers, you pay a state and city tax. The city, in turn, could use that money to: a) help vulnerable unhoused people (lol); b) operate great libraries (the Mayor tried to cut library hours to square the budget); c) help alleviate poverty, d) build more housing, e) fix the fucking intercoms on the trains, f) fix the trains so they arrive on time at least once in a while; and g) welcome refugees, who’ve been sent to the city in grotesque political stunts by Texas Governor Greg Abbott and Florida Ghoul Ron DeSantis. Nope! The city keeps trying to ship the refugees—created by our stupid global drug war by the way—to locations as creative as an empty cruise dock and a haunted former asylum.

Adams keeps dramatically declaring that the surge of migrants will lead to cuts in social services for everyone, and is also imperiously trying to overturn a 1977 legal decree that makes homeless people legally entitled to shelter. You already see migrant families on the subway, trying to sell candy. You can tell they’re recent arrivals because even the little kids don’t know a word of English. When you try to talk to them, they and their mothers just kind of smile sweetly and shake their heads to indicate they don’t understand.

It’s heartbreaking and there’s a special circle in Hell for the aforementioned lawmakers responsible for creating this mess (Greg Abbott, Ron DeSantis, and Eric Adams walk into a special circle of Hell where beers cost $100 and also Devils ride on their backs, as depicted below from Rila Monastery in Bulgaria).

Which is all to say, what the city does generously spend money on, is the millions in lawsuits against the NYPD, which just can't seem to stop framing, beating, racially profiling, and killing, people. Here are a few databases that outline police misconduct in NYC. 50-A, ProPublica’s police archive. NYCLU database.

When you advocate for defund, it’s hard not to sound like a naive teenager. But a gander through these databases, as well as public data generated by the sad, powerless CCRB (Civilian Complaint Review Board) you’d see that about 10% of officers on the force commit more violent crime than they solve. They are mostly high-ranking detectives, making three figure salaries. What if we just fired them? That would be a form of defund we could get on board with, right, given that it would spare the city millions for their pay, overtime, and comfortable retirements? I mean there’s a guy nicknamed “Assman” who earned the moniker because of all of the illegal anal cavity searches he’s committed. A dude nicknamed Bullethead, the city’s most sued cop, has triggered 46 lawsuits, costing the city more than one million dollars.

Here’s another thing: I am by no means a “girl boss” type. Female executives and politicians can be as grotesque as their male counterparts. But when it comes to policing, female cops by far have fewer incidents of abuse than male cops. It’s a huge discrepancy. Can’t we get more women on the force? What’s Mariska Hargitay, the fictional detective Olivia Benson, up to? Because, our collective fantasies about policing, derived from the 900 years of Law and Order: SVU, could not be further from reality. The real-live Special Victims Division is so understaffed and bad at dealing with and clearing sexual abuse cases, there’s a federal review underway, after multiple women complained. Meanwhile, Narcotics devisions are by far the most vigorously staffed. Why? Weed is legal now. Cocaine has always been legal for white people, go to any bar on a Friday night. Fentanyl is terrible, but no amount of interdiction seems to help the addiction and overdose crisis.

I’ve been reporting on this stuff for years, so I do know what I’m talking about, but inevitably, a man on social media will go, “Pssht. What if you got raped? Wouldn’t you want the police then?” Well, I did actually, at the height of the fucking pandemic, thank you for asking. The responding cops were … fine. I’m white and so believed in most situations. Additionally I had two giant bruises on my neck from when the attacker had choked me. But all the officers were men, clearly uncomfortable taking my statement (like blushing and unable to make eye contact), and when I thanked one of them for staying with me in the hospital, he went, “Megh. Just doing it for the overtime.” When I told him I wasn’t sure I’d press charges because of my politics, he went, “Lady, are you out of your goddamned mind!?” A correct assessment, likely, but not the best thing to say in that particular situation.

“When’s Mariska Hargitay getting here?” the doctor kept joking. She never did show up! When he heard my exchange with the officer he took me out to have a cigarette.

“Is this allowed? You’re a doctor!?

“Eh, whatever it’s fine.”

This guy worked an ER in Woodhull, nicknamed “Woodkill”, which is the worst hospital in America, during the height of the pandemic—pulmonary disease in old age was not his main concern. Unlike the officer, he kindly told me that he agreed with my politics around the horrible justice system, but unfortunately, in the world we currently live in, the guy who attacked me was a public danger and the ethical choice was to press charges.

“You should do what feels right. And I’m not telling you what to do, but I think in this case, the right thing to do is get this guy in the system, so he’s not a danger to others.”

Look, despite the cigarette he bummed me, this doctor was no Mariska Hargitay: but he was about a million times more empathetic than the police. How about … if we fire “Assman” and “Bullethead” and hire more medical and mental health professionals? SURELY this is not a naive suggestion?

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