'Bro my wife is mad at me—can we fire some journalists?'
Bill Ackman seems to think he lives in a Star Trek Holodeck—perceived reality must bend to his will.
The billionaire hedge fund manager first lashed out when Harvard students protested Israel’s war on Gaza. “Antisemitism exploded on campus,” he contended. Then he got mad Harvard president Claudine Gay didn’t denounce them. So he helped oust Gay for plagiarism.
Then his wife, Neri Oxman—who’s billed as some kind of creative academic visionary but from what I can tell, does basketweaving—admitted she too had plagiarized after a Business Insider investigation. Ackman keeps Tweeting long, tedious posts about it, even though they only invite mockery and keep the story in the news. His wife must be very mad at him.
What do you do when your wife is mad? You call up another rich guy and go, “Man… it’s been rough around here. The stony silences. The mean looks.”
“The other day I said our chef Philipe didn’t cook the filet mignon medium rare, and she screamed, ‘Why don’t you go fucking Tweet about your ‘meat’ because I’m not getting anywhere near ‘your meat’ again!’
“I have to sleep in another one of my houses … you know how it is.”
“Ooof. Yeah. It was rough for a couple of weeks at our houses when the Epstein manifest came out. I’ll see what I can do.”1
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Axel Springer, the parent company of Business Insider, is controlled by KKR, a global investment firm. Ackman boasted recently about his relationship with KKR and expressed his disappointment the company had, apparently, slipped up in its quality controls of their media holdings.
“I am thereby incredibly shocked by the conduct of a company controlled by KKR, a firm I’ve had enormous respect for over the years. I hope they have no idea what is going on by their Business Insider subsidiary, but I am going to look into it.” He also suggested his wife is being targeted because she’s Israeli. No dude. They did it because you’re an insufferable hypocrite and insufferable hypocricy makes for a good story.
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